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Safety, Sanctuary and Boundaries: A Place Called Home--Part 3

Updated: Jul 28, 2022

Photo: Architectural Digest

This place called home can take various forms:

Home can be from a specific spot in an open space shared with family members, community members and even strangers, like a cave as our ancestors used, a homeless shelter in our modern times, to a palace where one person roams alone. And, let us get out of the ice age and stop pretending we are not affected by energy. We are. Energy can be electric, light, sound, texture, magnetic fields, other people, pets, plants and objects.

Anything immediately outside our precious layer of our largest organ of the skin is our environment. Anything outside our thoughts, feelings and spirit flow is equally so. Our environment though, the exact place of boundary, is much harder to define.

Sometimes we can feel like victims of our environment like I did growing up in the South Bronx of the ’70s. We moved a lot during my formative years. By the time I was fourteen we had moved over ten times around the South Bronx. There were many reasons but as I child all I knew was that we were always on the move because of some crisis, be it fires, violence, or a money issue. Moving so much meant changing schools and churches every time. I did not go to kindergarten and went straight to first grade. But every for each grade I was at a different school, sometimes mid-year. This was terrifying for me. From the dreaded introduction to the class, to issues with being primarily a Spanish speaker, to not having stable friends—these all created an ongoing sense of doom and anxiety for me. I never felt a sense of home.

This was home for many in the 1970s

To this day, I have nightmares I am sleeping in the streets, homeless, cold, scared, and surrounded by demons. Though fortunately we were never in the streets, we did spend time in shelters and in other people’s homes. When we left an apartment, it was not an orderly careful, organized move—it was a take whatever we can and go as quickly as possible. This meant we didn’t have quality furniture or items. We had second-hand or donated items and tended to collect them creating a cluttered space always feeling unsettled. I am sure this is why I always felt a need to keep everything, just in case. I had what was a borderline hoarding tendency until I was able to finally confront it after my major losses in San Francisco.

It wasn’t until 1984, my first year in high school, where we finally settled into a stable home setting. But that was after much damage had already been done with more to come. There were times where we stayed in a church person’s apartment temporarily and it turned out they were full-fledge molesters having a field day with me and god knows how many other before and after me. For years I endured this until I entered my early teens. But by then, again, I already had the evil touches of some humans on my soul.

If we have troublesome, home-mates, neighbors or a rough and stressful job, these can add distress to our lives. Have you ever walked into a place somewhere and wanted to run out because it was such a bad feeling to be there? Or walked down a particular street and felt you needed to go another way to your destination because it just felt wrong. This is energy at work. Good vibes or bad vibes, many of us can pick up on them. If you are vulnerable because of pain, stress or are highly sensitive, you are even susceptible to being affected by your space.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to control, protect, and restore peace in any given space most of the time—also known as boundaries. The question is, how can we extend the care for ourselves to our environment? We have different levels of control of our environment. What we can do in a public mall is different than what we can do in our private homes. What we do in a workplace where we work for others is different from what we can do when we work for ourselves. All due to social norms, manners, and laws. Fortunately, at least for you, it is your home, you do have some level of external control unlike in oppressive or totalitarian societies.

I learned through study, practice and as an empath that designing and setting up your space to work with you is one of the best ways to gain equilibrium, peace, joy, and energy. If it is your space within a home you have more flexibility, but you can do this in external spaces as well.

Many of us know instinctually what our boundaries are, though too many don’t have a clue. This causes all kinds of problems ranging from annoyances to life-threatening situations that can easily be avoided if we only make a choice to become more aware. This section is more of a blueprint for anyone and everyone to use. This is because there are different needs each of us has from extreme help as in a hoarder putting themselves and others in health dangers, to someone seeking to elevate their energy within their spacious home.

I begin my work on the environment the ways I do with our body and self: from assessing its safety and health to creating and expanding high vibration energy via the basics of being hydrated, have proper nutrients, my posture to finding the beauty in anything I can find and according to what I specifically need for safety, harmony and balance. I use my studies in organizational and environmental psychology, my work with Feng Shui, my certification in Interior Design and my psychic empath abilities to make this happen.

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful.” —Denis Waitley

Do you feel safe and cared for at home?


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